After a long break, dating is finally back, and most people are eager to get out there. But if you're reading this article cowering under your comforter because you dread first dates – Lolita is here for you!
First, it is normal to be a little nervous about a first date. Wanting to be liked and loved is a human thing. It's okay to be worried about the first impression. But it would be best if you did not allow your anxiety to take over and spoil your first date.
And now, it's time to face our fears together!
"It's like stepping into the unknown. My mind always goes into overdrive, visualizing worst-case scenarios, and that's when I chicken out!"
You care about this person, and it's important to you that this date goes well. Please take a moment to acknowledge the rationality of your emotions and accept them. Think about why you are nervous?
Reasoning about your jitters can shift the focus from your anxiety to the prepping and planning for the evening.
The Awkward Silences
"I can never think of what to say. I know nothing about this person! How do I spend a whole evening with them?"
When you spend an evening with someone new, it can be challenging to think of things to say. The awkward silences get longer and longer until you start thinking of ways to escape!
Honestly, it doesn't have to be so. First dates can be fun and comfortable for both of you. The trick is to plan for a short meeting. A cup of coffee or a bottle of cold-pressed juice post-workout – is an excellent place for a quick first date where you can get done before the awkwardness begins. Another good idea is to meet for an activity, like visiting an art gallery or a picnic at the beach. It will give you something to enjoy together.
"I get chatty when I'm nervous, which always turns my date off!"
Nervousness brings out all our quirks. Some people go into a shell when nervous; others laugh louder than ever; others get clumsy, fidgety, and edgy; you get the idea! Think about your quirks and course-correct for any awkwardness that could pop up. For example, if you get chatty – meet for a movie, where the setting prompts you to talk less. If you are afraid you might spill stuff on yourself, don't order the soup!
The idea is to know yourself and think about how to put yourself at ease.
"I discuss my nervousness with my friends, but I always get more confused!"
Once in a while, it's okay to look to your friends for reassurance and support. But before a first date, resist the temptation to discuss your jitters with too many friends. Their advice may be well-intentioned, but it may be contradictory, confusing, or push you to fixate on your fears.
It's better to talk to just one trustworthy person who can understand.
"I don't think I can fall in love in one meeting."
Of course not! Never get yourself into a mindset that you're meeting someone to fall in love with them or make them fall in love with you. Instead, think of your first date like you are going out to meet a new friend. It will take the pressure off and help you stay relaxed in their company. Prioritize friendship.
Finally, remember that it's not all about you. For all you know, your date is nervous about this meeting too! It's a date, not a job interview – stop worrying so much and get ready to have some fun! We are all human and flawed; that's what makes life beautiful.
And when in doubt, assume that they like you. It will give you confidence – the most attractive feature any woman can have.